Dark satirical interactive game

🐱🔊 ZŁOTA 44 MOD — THE BAN BUTTON

Reddit mod with access to the common-area ban button IRL.

You are a Reddit moderator. Not a real moderator — a Reddit moderator. You moderate r/WarsawLuxuryLiving (143 subscribers, 141 of them your alt accounts). You have never been paid for your moderation services. You have never been asked to moderate. But you have the ban button. And the ban button is the only thing between you and the void.

Somehow — the details are blurry, the paperwork doesn’t exist, nobody in Administration will confirm your role — you got access to the Złota 44 /commonarea ban-button.

And another man spoke to your kitten.

Not your actual kitten. You don’t have a kitten. You have a wife. She was in the lobby. A resident said “good morning” to her. He looked at her for approximately 0.4 seconds too long. You saw it. The GoPro saw it. The microphone picked up the audio. The case is airtight.

Now you have to protect the building. Protect your kitten. Protect the sanctity of the common area. One ban at a time.

Good luck, mod.

Read the 12 bizarre questions

LEVEL 1BAN BUTTON IRL

THE LOBBY

You’re standing near the concierge desk. GoPro on your chest. Microphone clipped to your collar. You’re not working. You don’t work here. You’re unaffiliated. But you have the ban button. And the concierge is too scared to ask you to move.

A resident enters with a woman. She’s attractive. He’s… walking next to her. They’re talking. Laughing. He touches her arm.

YOUR KITTEN FLASHBACK: another man, 0.4 seconds, “good morning.” The wound is fresh.

What do you do?

LEVEL 2BAN BUTTON IRL

THE WHATSAPP GROUP

You’ve returned to your command center. Your apartment. Three monitors. One displays the CCTV feed you definitely don’t have access to. One displays r/WarsawLuxuryLiving (no new posts, you’ve banned everyone). One displays the OFFICIAL WhatsApp group — the one with the laminated sign, the QR code, the 120+ residents who think this is a building communication channel.

It’s not. It’s your subreddit with better engagement.

The resident from the lobby is now in the spa with his “guest.” You have footage. You have suspicions. You have the ban button. But first — the narrative must be shaped.

What do you post in the WhatsApp group?

LEVEL 3BAN BUTTON IRL

THE BAN

The resident from the lobby has been in the spa for 45 minutes. His “guest” is still with him. They’re still… together. Laughing. Swimming. Being a couple. In public. Where anyone could see. Where YOU can see.

Your finger hovers over the /commonarea ban-button. It’s not a real button. It’s a WhatsApp message to the concierge. But the concierge is afraid of you. Everyone is afraid of you. Fear is the button.

What justification do you use for the ban?

LEVEL 4BAN BUTTON IRL

THE AFTERMATH

The ban is applied. The resident has been removed from the common area. His girlfriend — sorry, “unverified female companion” — is confused. He’s confused. The concierge is confused. The Administration is pretending they don’t know what’s happening. The WhatsApp group is buzzing with fear and speculation.

You’re in your apartment. Three monitors. The CCTV feed (which you definitely don’t have access to) shows the resident walking through the lobby. He looks tired. He looks defeated. He looks like a man who just had to explain to his actual girlfriend why a stranger with a GoPro got them banned from a spa.

This is the moment. The victory lap. What do you do?

ENDING — YOUR MOD SCORE

The cat has calculated the moderation damage. The ban button is warm.

Mod score0

Start the game to generate an ending.

MOD SCORE

RESULT

0–5

You’re a junior mod. You banned one person. You posted three cryptic warnings. The building still has residents. You’ll do better next time. The GoPro battery is at 47%.

6–10

You’re a senior mod. Multiple bans. Legal letters drafted. The WhatsApp group fears you. The Administration denies your existence. You are the most powerful unaffiliated person in Warsaw luxury real estate.

11–15

You’re the head mod. The building is empty. The spa is silent. The concierge quit. The Director stopped signing emails. ADMUS edited itself out of existence. Only you remain. You and the GoPro. You and the ban button. You and the spinning cat.

16+

You’ve banned yourself. Accidentally. You can’t access the common area. You can’t access your own apartment. You’re standing in the lobby, GoPro still recording, waiting for someone to unban you. But you’re the only mod. There is no appeal process. The cat spins. The waveform never collapses.

THE REAL ENDING

You are not a Reddit moderator. You are the “Unaffiliated Representative” at Złota 44. The GoPro is real. The WhatsApp group is real. The character assassination is real. The mineral water ban is real. The kitten is your wife. The resident you banned was a disabled man who asked if his apartment was electrically safe. You called him mentally unstable to 120+ neighbors. You intercepted his police report. You wore a GoPro while doing it.

And now there’s a website. And a game. And a spinning cat. And everyone you ever banned is reading it.

The ban button doesn’t work on the internet, mod.
The cat spins. The waveform never collapses. 🐱🔊

[Play again? The GoPro battery is infinite. The ban button is always within reach. The kitten is always 0.4 seconds away from being looked at.]

Read the non-game version Play the boyfriend test